Free Form Thursday

So I'm going to take this opportunity of Free Form Thursday to talk about the thing that is on every one's minds since the naked man who ignored being shot while eating another man's face hit news....  ZOMBIES.

I know a lot of people who know about Onion think that maybe it was a hoax or that the dude was just on drugs.  Let me tell you this now... THAT'S WHAT THE GOVERNMENT WANTS YOU TO THINK!!  DON'T BE A PUPPET TO THEIR IDEALISTIC SOCIETY THAT'S NOT WORKING OUT FOR ANYONE BUT THEM!!

 

It's time to lock and load, bitches.  Let's take this time together to discuss appropriate zombie killing weapons and proper zombie killing techniques.  Or at least... What I label appropriate zombie killing weapons and proper zombie killing techniques.

This is your average, run-of-the-mill, can be picked up at Wal-Mart Louisville Slugger.  That's just the brand I'm partial to.  As long as it's a good quality bat (preferably wooden since aluminum bats tend to dent), it will efficiently bash in the skull of a zombie.  

This is an absolutely beautiful BATTLE READY Japanese Katana.  THE BATTLE READY PART IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!!!!  IF YOU GET A KATANA THAT IS NOT BATTLE READY IT WILL 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 BE FOR DECORATIVE PURPOSES ONLY AND WILL NOT CLEAVE THE HEAD OFF OF A ZOMBIE!!!!!!  Be wary of where you're buying it from.  You need a good quality Katana to keep you alive through the zombie apocalypse.

This is a machete.  May not be the best for killing zombies, but it will work.  It will also be helpful when in the woods or for those pesky non-zombies who try to rob/rape/kill/maim you.

I went with the non-firing weapons first because you must consider that eventually you will run out of ammo.  Plus, the weight of carrying ammunition for multiple guns would tire you out faster, considering that you will also need to be carrying some food, water, possibly extra clothes, as well as a medical kit.  I cannot stress the medical kit enough.  Zombies are attracted to the smell of fresh blood and, much like sharks, they will flock to you.  They might be slow, but when you have a multitude chasing you and they never get tired.... Your odds are not good.  ALWAYS carry a medical kit.  Always.

Now time for guns.  Every one's favorite, including mine, but I try to consider the practicality.

 

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a 50-cal handgun.  My motto is "Go Big Or Go Home", and this will efficiently blow the shit out of anything you take the time to fire at.  I thoroughly enjoy hollow-point bullets.  They're nasty and they expand withing the flesh of your victim.  I like that.  

Here's your average, run-of-the-mill 12 gauge shotgun.  I'm partial to the type of ammo with the larger ball backed by all your smaller, regular-style shotgun balls.  It's meaner, and I'm an evil bitch so.... It works out.

 

And this is an 18 gauge shotgun.  Hehehehe.  I have an evil grin on my face now.  Just so you know.  Same ammo as the 12 gauge, just.... bigger.  

 

And if you REALLY wanna go big or go home.... This is a 20 gauge shotgun.  Not for the faint of heart or for those with bad shoulders.  This may dislocate a bad shoulder rather efficiently.  Just saying...

Now we're gonna play with the big boys.  This is a semi-automatic AK-47.  And a gorgeous one at that.  I wanted to find one with the clear magazine because I really like them.  You can see at all time the amount of ammo left in your weapon, which is a VERY big advantage when trying to fight of a hoard of zombies and you only have so much time to reload.  You wanna know for sure that your ass won't be grass if you encounter a large group.  

And last, but not least, we have the AR-15.  I like these, predominantly because they look amazingly bad-ass.  But.... I'm still going to say I'm partial to the AK-47.  They tend to hold more ammo per magazine and you really want that.  

Well, my dears, now that we've gone over appropriate zombie killing weapons, let's see what we can find about proper zombie killing techniques for each weapon.  If not each one, then most of them.  

Baseball Bat:

Hmmm... This is making me think about retracting my last statement about the wooden bat...

Katana:

I like the katana.  I like it a lot.

Machete:

I'm still not partial to the machete for killing zombies.  Predominantly because it's so close range and I don't want zombie death goo all over me.

Shotguns vs. Pistols:

I decided a comparison would be nice.  I prefer the shotgun, but will keep a pistol handy as a last resort for zombies or my personal defense weapon for those pesky non-zombies.  

I'm not even gonna try to hunt for an AK or an AR video.  The others were hard enough to find.  We all know the AK and the AR both would kick ass.  No questions asked.  

Well, fellow hunters, you now know my favorite weaponry and methods.  And, ladies, if you have long hair and you don't wanna cut it off in the face of the zombie apocalypse, shoot me an email and I'll send you back a wonderful and simple hairstyle that will keep the undead from your locks and, in my ROTC experience, will not come loose with any amount of running, climbing, jumping, swimming, or crawling through the mud under barbed wire.  

Scooter Out.

Twitter Sunday

Here's some of the cool shit you missed this week while you weren't following me on Twitter:

Don't you wish you were following me now?  Yea, I thought so.

Scooter Out.

 

Soothing Saturday!

Holy crap it's been a busy week.  I started a new position at work so I'm learning new things.  I'm the newbie.  I LOVE IT!  I love everything about my new job.  I love the ladies I work with and for.  I've wanted to be on this team for 2 years and I've finally got it.  So what could possibly soothe me on this lovely week?  Well...  I'll tell you.

 Playing with my two-year-old class at church.  Gosh I love these kids.  :)

 

A steaming hot bubble bath.  Best. Thing. Everrrrr.

 

 I got in a little bit of good cuddle time this week.  :)

 Not gonna lie.... I had a cold this week.  So this stuff was my best friend.

 Laughing with my family at the family birthday gathering!

 I slept a lot this week.....

 GREAT stuff.  Good for colds, sleep, and..... Hell, just good.

 I got to watch this kid right here graduate!!!

EXCELLENT book.  Great series.  I highly recommend.

I love magnolia blossoms.  They remind me of my grandmother.  She always used to pick them and bring them inside.  She said they smelled like Heaven.  A lady on the street has a great big magnolia tree.  She let me pick a few and take them home.  :) 

 All in all, it was a really good week.  It's nice to have things that can make me happy or calm me down when I'm stressed.

Scooter Out. 

Things I Want To Say To My Lead Tuesday!!

Well, guys, I have an update on life!!  I moved to a new department at work.  So my old bitch lead is no longer my lead!  BUT in keeping with Things I Want To Say To My Lead Tuesdays, I will still be posting multiple things that I want to say to my lead.  I'll tell you if I'm talking about my old lead or my new one.  So far my new lead has been sweet, but we'll see..

This is all for my old lead!!

• You, my dear, are a great big bitch.
• Did you know that wearing that dress makes your body look like two hogs fighting in a blanket?
• Sneeze on me again, and I swear I'll punch you right in the throat.
• Put your fucking shoes on!!  I don't want to smell your feet!
• Thanks for finally showing up to work... Half an hour late. 
• I love that you can dish out your bitch-ass-ness, but you run off and snitch to the Big Man when somebody is rude to you.  Snitch.
• Your breath stinks.
• It's so nice to know that I'm required to be to work on time, but you're not.
• Your bedside manner is that of constipated crocodile with a toothache.
• I have an idea!!  Click your heels 3 times... And go to hell.  Straight to hell.
• GET OFF THE DAMN PHONE!!  If I'm not allowed to stay on a personal call for 45 minutes, then neither are you.
• Do you realize that while you've been socializing, I've been doing your job by answering 23 questions dished out by the new people you're supposed to be training?
• Your voice is like nails on a chalkboard... Actually... I think that might sound more pleasant than your voice.
• Fuck you.  Fuck you right in the ear.  With a double-edged sword.
• If I ask nicely, will you go kill yourself?
• GET YOUR ASS AWAY FROM MY FACEEEE!!!!
• Yes, I use military time.  I also realize that the clock doesn't have the numbers 13-42 on it.  You know what else I've realized?  You're fucking ignorant.

I think I'm going to save the rest of what I have so I can span it out over the course of this blog.

Scooter Out.

Do Two Wrongs Make A Right?

I'm sitting here this evening watching The Walton's with my family.  The episode is centered on the dates of the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  Now, I'm not sure how everyone else's high school worked.  But where I went to school, we didn't learn about things like that.  We learned about the bombing of Pearl Harbor, but not the retaliation.  

To me, that seemed as if it were being condoned.  To ignore it, or to not speak of it, makes it seem like people thought it was okay.  And it wasn't.  Don't get me wrong, I understand that we were attacked first.  I understand that 2,402 American lives were lost.  I understand that another 1,282 were wounded.  But does that justify bombing 2 cities occupied by innocents?  Women?  Children?  Do the lives of 150,000 - 246,000 Japanese people mean more than the lives of those killed or wounded who were Americans?

Does this

 

Justify this

Does the fact that this happened first

Make this okay

Do two wrongs really make a right?  I don't know.  I've never really thought too much into it before tonight.  What do you think?

Scooter Out.

Roll The Dice Monday!

Hello all!  Today is the first day of my new blogging schedule.

As far as Monday goes, I couldn't really make a hardcore decision.  So, I decided to do a Roll The Dice Monday.  Basically, it works like this, Random.org has an automated dice roller.  I couldn't find a real one around the house.  So every Monday, I'll give it a toss and blog on one of the following subjects:

1. Things I learned from my daddy
2. What would happen if...
3. Crafty corner
4. Cool shit my mom can do
5. Recipes I love
6. Vlog!!

So whatever the dice decides is how I'll blog!  Starting next Monday, it will begin.  As of the rest of my blogging schedule, I'll start tomorrow.  Hope you like it!

Scooter Out.

Coming Soon To A Blog Near You!!!

I'm still tweaking it a bit, but I think I've got it mostly figured out...

• Monday - Open.  Still working on what I wanna do.  I'm thinking vlog.  Suggestions?
• Tuesday - Things I Want To Say To My Lead Tuesdays.  I have a lot of bitchy and sarcastic comments I want to say to my lead at work.  I will post them here for your entertainment!
• Wednesday - Wordless Wednesday.  I'm gonna cart around my camera and photo-document my day and post it for all to see!  Or I may just post funny shit I enjoy.  Whatever I feel like that day.  :P
• Thursdays - Free Form Thursday.  A day when I get to write whatever the fuck I want.
• Friday - Q&A Friday.  Email me with any questions you feel the need to ask me and I'll post the Q&A with my answers!  Make sure you put Q&A Friday in the subject line or I WILL spam your e-mail.
• Saturday - Soothing Saturday.  Be it songs, smells, crafts, animals, or substances you ingest, we all have something that soothes us.  Saturday will be the day I post a list of 10 things I've found soothing throughout the week.
• Sunday - Twitter Sunday.  That's right, bitches!  I have a Twitter!  I'll post some of the epic shit you missed while you weren't following me.

Scooter Out.