Everyone has been there. Wanting someone you can't have. Realizing you really are in love with someone who's gone now. Or, like me, you find someone you love whole-heartedly, but you mess it up because you're 18 and stupid.
I guess I could have fixed it. If I had realized how much I wanted her. Like they say... Hindsight is 20/20. I realized after it was way too late that I loved her. That I needed her. That I still need her. I've tried making amends. A few times. I believe the last thing she said to me was that she didn't need my fake apologies and my happy rainbow land... So... I think it may be safe to say that Cuba hates me.
Cuba... I wonder if you know how deeply I hurt over how I wronged you. I wonder if you know that I think of you every day. I wonder if you know that I dream of you at night. Do you remember the poem I wrote you? The one I posted on MySpace? I still have it:
A drop falls.
So sweet, so fresh, so new.
All is reborn.
As the sun peaks, mist rises,
Once again clearing the world of
All sin and deceit.
A drop falls and I am alone.
The earthy scent engulfs me
As I long to hear your voice,
To feel your touch.
We last kissed in the rain.
The lightning struck as you pulled me closer,
Arms around my waist, lips pressed to mine.
A drop falls, landing on my nose,
Ripping me out of my daydream.
I feel like I'm hallucinating.
Your kiss, though fresh in my mind,
Has begun to fade from my lips.
I want you to know how much I love you.
I only wish that, for just another moment,
I could re-visit that storm, that night.
But for now, I close my eyes,
Smell the new world developing around me,
And wish I was in your arms...
A drop falls.
So sweet, so fresh, so new.
All is reborn.
As the sun peaks, mist rises,
Once again clearing the world of
All sin and deceit.
A drop falls and I am alone.
The earthy scent engulfs me
As I long to hear your voice,
To feel your touch.
We last kissed in the rain.
The lightning struck as you pulled me closer,
Arms around my waist, lips pressed to mine.
A drop falls, landing on my nose,
Ripping me out of my daydream.
I feel like I'm hallucinating.
Your kiss, though fresh in my mind,
Has begun to fade from my lips.
I want you to know how much I love you.
I only wish that, for just another moment,
I could re-visit that storm, that night.
But for now, I close my eyes,
Smell the new world developing around me,
And wish I was in your arms...
A drop falls.
Cuba, I miss you. I'm sorry for what I did to you. I was wrong. I know you think all my apologies are fake, but they're not. I haven't let you go. I haven't quit thinking of you. I'm still waiting. I promised you I would and I am. Even if you never decide to try again or even speak to me again... Just know... I'm waiting. And I love you. Still.
Scooter Out.
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