Snickers Marathon Bars Taste Like Crap

So this morning I was in the convenience store getting my daily dose of Diet Coke and a muffin, when I looked over and saw this...

I thought to myself "Hmmm.... I bet this will be tasty!  Just like a Snickers Bar!" and I grabbed one.  It cost me $1.89.  Now, if I'm gonna pay $1.89 for a glorified granola bar, it had better be pretty freakin tasty.  But the words "Chewy Chocolaty Peanut" made it sound oh so delicious.

Upon getting to work, I sat for a while and did a few things and then I decided, "Well, since I'm hungry, how about I chomp on my energy bar!"  I grabbed and unwrapped.  Now, I must say, it didn't look as appealing as it did in the picture, but what food ever does??

Anyways, now that I've validated my point, I shall continue on in my story.

I decided not to judge by the way this Snickers Marathon Bar looked and I took a bite.  It wasn't what I expected.  Honestly, I thought it would taste just like a freakin Snickers, but without the shape of one.  Or something along those lines.  No.  But I thought "Maybe my taste buds are still screwy from brushing my teeth this morning..." and I took yet another bite.  Still not what I expected.

I consumed about half of this bar before I decided that I couldn't take it anymore and threw it in the trash bin.  Which means that out of the $1.89 I spent in the thing, I wasted about $0.95 of it.  I could have gotten a cranberry granola crunch bar for that!!  And those are the shiz!!

I suppose if I was asked to describe the taste I'd go for chocolate covered cardboard.  And, yes, I've actually tasted cardboard, so don't think I can't compare it to that.  Cardboard is freakin nasty.  Just sayin... 

Snickers.... You let me down.  I am disappoint.  I'm not sure if I should be more frightened by the fact that Snickers put their name on something that tasted that bad or by the fact that Nestle owns the Purina Dog Food Company (makes you wonder what's REALLY in the Nestle Crunch bar, doesn't it?).  I think they both frighten me equally. 

So, the next time you're in your local convenience store getting your daily dose of Diet Coke and a muffin and you look over and see this siren Snickers Marathon Bar beckoning to you.... Resist the call.  You will regret it.  Unless you enjoy chocolate covered cardboard.  In that case... Go for it.

Scooter Out.

I Desire Coffee

Six in the morning is too dang early to go to work.  Why do they insist upon making all of us haul our sorry carcasses out of bed and come in so early?  If my super hadn't insisted on building this stupid wall we'd have enough room for some extra cubes so we could have more keyers so we could work normal hours!! 

Then again, I like getting paid for overtime.  Maybe I'm just whining today.  That's it!  I'm whining.  Whining can be fun sometimes.  But in the end it usually solves nothing and makes people want to punch you in the face.  So why am I whining?  Because everybody whines to me about their problems, so now it's my turn!  MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *in case you didn't know.... that was my evil laugh*

Soft puffy mints are a thing of beauty.  Not too minty.  Not too hard.  Just perfect.  I should invest in about 30 or 40 bags of these.  Then again, I'd probably make myself sick eating all 30 or 40 bags all at one time.  I have no self control.  None.  Well.... Some.  But not when it comes to puffy minty candies.

I think I'm at the point of just rambling now.  Probably not a good thing.  I'm really random.  I might make people think that I need to be in a padded room.  Actually, I probably do.  In one of those self-esteem boosting coats that make you hug yourself all day.  Those look fun.  :)

I wonder who the first person was who looked at a cow and thought "I think I'll squeeze these dangley things and drink whatever comes out"...  I mean really..... Cow udders look gross.

Ugh....  Meeting with my boss.  I was just informed that I'm on ten hour shifts every day till further notice.  Woot for the pay.  Not woot for my brain.  It's going to go all fuzzy and explody and stuff.

Has anyone ever wondered where on earth some of the food we eat came from.  I mean.... Think of it this way:

People actually eat this. 

Not because they're on Fear Factor or Survivor.

Because they want to.

This is called balut. 

It's a fertilized duck egg with a nearly developed embryo.

This is considered a delicacy.

Haggis.

Enough said.

Batpaste.

Take a LIVE bat and force it into a vat of steaming milk.

Once cooked, remove, chop up, serve in soup.

This actually didn't look so bad.  Till I read what it was.

Hasma.

The fallopian tubes of female frogs.  Jellied and sweetened.

Hmmm....  Didn't mean for this to turn into a food blog.  All I'm really trying to say is I.NEED.COFFEE!!!

That's all I'm really trying to say.  But I suppose I may have also ruined a few appetites.

And no offense to anyone that actually eats this stuff.  I'm just saying that it looks and sounds nasty.

I still don't have coffee.

Well... I suppose I'll stop whining now.  But before I go I have 2 other things that I really need to stress to you guys.

All dogs should wear socks.

All porcupines should drink coffee.

That's pretty much all my random little brain has for you right now.  OH!  If you haven't already done it, check this out!!  Do it now!!!

Scooter Out.