Snickers Marathon Bars Taste Like Crap

So this morning I was in the convenience store getting my daily dose of Diet Coke and a muffin, when I looked over and saw this...

I thought to myself "Hmmm.... I bet this will be tasty!  Just like a Snickers Bar!" and I grabbed one.  It cost me $1.89.  Now, if I'm gonna pay $1.89 for a glorified granola bar, it had better be pretty freakin tasty.  But the words "Chewy Chocolaty Peanut" made it sound oh so delicious.

Upon getting to work, I sat for a while and did a few things and then I decided, "Well, since I'm hungry, how about I chomp on my energy bar!"  I grabbed and unwrapped.  Now, I must say, it didn't look as appealing as it did in the picture, but what food ever does??

Anyways, now that I've validated my point, I shall continue on in my story.

I decided not to judge by the way this Snickers Marathon Bar looked and I took a bite.  It wasn't what I expected.  Honestly, I thought it would taste just like a freakin Snickers, but without the shape of one.  Or something along those lines.  No.  But I thought "Maybe my taste buds are still screwy from brushing my teeth this morning..." and I took yet another bite.  Still not what I expected.

I consumed about half of this bar before I decided that I couldn't take it anymore and threw it in the trash bin.  Which means that out of the $1.89 I spent in the thing, I wasted about $0.95 of it.  I could have gotten a cranberry granola crunch bar for that!!  And those are the shiz!!

I suppose if I was asked to describe the taste I'd go for chocolate covered cardboard.  And, yes, I've actually tasted cardboard, so don't think I can't compare it to that.  Cardboard is freakin nasty.  Just sayin... 

Snickers.... You let me down.  I am disappoint.  I'm not sure if I should be more frightened by the fact that Snickers put their name on something that tasted that bad or by the fact that Nestle owns the Purina Dog Food Company (makes you wonder what's REALLY in the Nestle Crunch bar, doesn't it?).  I think they both frighten me equally. 

So, the next time you're in your local convenience store getting your daily dose of Diet Coke and a muffin and you look over and see this siren Snickers Marathon Bar beckoning to you.... Resist the call.  You will regret it.  Unless you enjoy chocolate covered cardboard.  In that case... Go for it.

Scooter Out.