Thursday, February 9, 2012

♫♪ "I've Got Them Moves Like Jagger..."♪♫

I'm white.

I'm nerdy.

Therefore, I can't dance.

At. All.

My mom put me in ballet when I was a kid.  I had been begging her to let me play softball.  She slapped me in a pink tutu and put me in ballet.  I sat in the corner and refused to move for almost 2 weeks worth of classes before the teacher finally talked mom into not wasting her money anymore.

I've also been in tap dance.

Baton twirling.

Gymnastics.

You get the picture.  If it involved me in a leotard, tutu, or sparkly costume, my mom shoved me in it.  I wanted to take karate, play softball, and learn guitar.  NOOOOPE!  Not girly enough.  She wanted me to be princess frou-frou bleach blond preppy girl.  I grew up HATING those girls.  And occasionally threatening to punch them in the face.

But now as I've gotten older and matured, I've kinda grown to wish I'd learned to dance.  Ballet.  Not tap.  Tap is annoying.  Ballet is really pretty.  I will NEVER admit that outside of this blog..... 

See, I've found myself in a few situations where dancing was almost required.  Like prom and other....well....dances.  You look like a super derp if you don't dance.  So I would try.  And instead of looking like this....

I'd sell my soul to be able to do that.  Well.... not really, but you get it.

I would wind up looking like this...

But....you know....not Santa.

So I'd make an idiot out of myself and go sit in the corner or in the bathroom for a while till somebody else made an idiot out of themselves and I was off the hook. 

There's also a few other things I wanna learn to do.

Play the piano.

Snowboard.

Play the guitar.

Wake board.

Make stuff out of glass.

There's more but I don't have the time to list all that.  Most of it involves crafts or musical instruments I want to learn to play.  I'm a nerd, I know.  :P 

I also wish I was better at video games but considering the only game console i have ever owned ever in my whole life is a SNES.... Not gonna happen.  I'll kick your butt at Donkey Kong Country and get to Star Road faster than you in Super Mario World, but put me on Halo or Assassin's Creed or anything that's NOT on SNES.... I'm awful.  Horrible.  Laughable. 

But the main point of this blog is... I wish I could dance.  

That.....That's pretty much it.

Scooter Out. 

5 comments:

  1. In all seriousness, and without trying to make it sound smart or anything, Black Swan gave me a much greater appreciation of ballet.

    The intro sequence really grabbed me. It was so beautiful and visceral. I never really looked at ballet that way before.

    Everyone who ACTUALLY does ballet will now yell at me about how Natalie Portman was doing it wrong, but still.

    And so what if we can't dance? I still derp it out when I'm alone or with my friends. If you derp hard enough, it becomes something beautiful :D

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  2. I, too, am choreographically challenged. I feel like that scene in "Flashdance" where she is sitting in her house watching a ballet on the tv, and then decides to try the pirouette she just saw and then spills diet pepsi all over herself, instead. Yeah..that me.

    I also wanted to do sports, but my mother also thought it wasn't girly enough. I got tap lessons, and I couldn't ever even get the step-shuffle-ball-change. I got ballet lessons, and that was dismal. My mother tried to get me into cheerleading, and I can't even do a cartwheel.

    When I do step aerobics, I am great until they add arms. Then it is all over.

    However, I can whack the heck out of a ball.

    I still love to dance, though. Just moving to the music (however lame I look), feels so good. Let's all geek-bop together!!!

    W. :)

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    Replies
    1. Yes, ma'am!!!

      For the record, in high school I did Army ROTC. When I brought home my uniform my mom tried to burn it. I joined the Drill Team, the Rifle Team, and Raiders. When I had a Drill meet, she never came. When I had a Rifle competition, she never came. When I had a Raiders challenge, she never came.

      I was also in Chorus. She fought tooth and toenail to be at every single concert I had.

      So, I'm still a tiny itsy bitsy bit girlish, but give me a rifle and I'll shoot it or spint it. :P

      *Geek-bopping* WOOT!!!

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  3. Me too! I took 2 years of ballet before I was all, "Mom. I have zero coordination and I trip over flat surfaces. If you keep making me do this...the doctor's bills are going to start piling up."
    I wish I had stuck with it though.
    I used to be that way about video games...but now...well, I play way too much World of Warcraft when I have money. I mainly play on my PC...and Fable III is FUN...and pretty easy.

    ReplyDelete