I Desire Coffee

Six in the morning is too dang early to go to work.  Why do they insist upon making all of us haul our sorry carcasses out of bed and come in so early?  If my super hadn't insisted on building this stupid wall we'd have enough room for some extra cubes so we could have more keyers so we could work normal hours!! 

Then again, I like getting paid for overtime.  Maybe I'm just whining today.  That's it!  I'm whining.  Whining can be fun sometimes.  But in the end it usually solves nothing and makes people want to punch you in the face.  So why am I whining?  Because everybody whines to me about their problems, so now it's my turn!  MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *in case you didn't know.... that was my evil laugh*

Soft puffy mints are a thing of beauty.  Not too minty.  Not too hard.  Just perfect.  I should invest in about 30 or 40 bags of these.  Then again, I'd probably make myself sick eating all 30 or 40 bags all at one time.  I have no self control.  None.  Well.... Some.  But not when it comes to puffy minty candies.

I think I'm at the point of just rambling now.  Probably not a good thing.  I'm really random.  I might make people think that I need to be in a padded room.  Actually, I probably do.  In one of those self-esteem boosting coats that make you hug yourself all day.  Those look fun.  :)

I wonder who the first person was who looked at a cow and thought "I think I'll squeeze these dangley things and drink whatever comes out"...  I mean really..... Cow udders look gross.

Ugh....  Meeting with my boss.  I was just informed that I'm on ten hour shifts every day till further notice.  Woot for the pay.  Not woot for my brain.  It's going to go all fuzzy and explody and stuff.

Has anyone ever wondered where on earth some of the food we eat came from.  I mean.... Think of it this way:

People actually eat this. 

Not because they're on Fear Factor or Survivor.

Because they want to.

This is called balut. 

It's a fertilized duck egg with a nearly developed embryo.

This is considered a delicacy.

Haggis.

Enough said.

Batpaste.

Take a LIVE bat and force it into a vat of steaming milk.

Once cooked, remove, chop up, serve in soup.

This actually didn't look so bad.  Till I read what it was.

Hasma.

The fallopian tubes of female frogs.  Jellied and sweetened.

Hmmm....  Didn't mean for this to turn into a food blog.  All I'm really trying to say is I.NEED.COFFEE!!!

That's all I'm really trying to say.  But I suppose I may have also ruined a few appetites.

And no offense to anyone that actually eats this stuff.  I'm just saying that it looks and sounds nasty.

I still don't have coffee.

Well... I suppose I'll stop whining now.  But before I go I have 2 other things that I really need to stress to you guys.

All dogs should wear socks.

All porcupines should drink coffee.

That's pretty much all my random little brain has for you right now.  OH!  If you haven't already done it, check this out!!  Do it now!!!

Scooter Out.

Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like A Horse

I like horses.  I like them a lot.  But when it came to my attention that there are lots of jokes floating around about Sarah Jessica Parker looking like a horse, I had to do a little research of my own.

Here are my results:

This argument is valid...

This one even more so...

I think my childhood just took an arrow to the knee...

Well, there you have it, folks.  Not only does Sarah Jessica Parker look like a horse, she also resembles the cowardly lion!  Poor horse..... Poor lion.....

Scooter Out.

Days 16 and 17... My Job In A Nutshell

I know I didn't post anything I was grateful for yesterday, and the more I thought about it, I realized that I'm just flat out grateful for my job.  Sometimes it's dull and sometimes it's a pain in the bum, but, all-in-all, I'm grateful for it.

I kinda wanted to explain my job.  In case anyone was curious about what I do and stuff.

I work for a rather small remittance company that's a vendor to an insurance giant.  Now that that means is, this big insurance company decided "Hey, we don't wanna do our mail intake or remittance processing anymore.  Let's employ another company to do it."  So, technically, I'm an employee of an employee of a huge company.  Employeeception?  Perhaps.

My department is the Remittance Processing Services Data Entry Department.  RPS Data Entry for short.  The long way sounds more important and pompous, though.  :P  Basically what I do is sit in a small cubicle (seriously.... I can't eve stretch my arms out all the way...) all day long and stare at checks on a computer that has 2 screens and, using my magical "Policy Finding" program, I manually post payments.  But only after I play God for long enough to decide where each payment should go.  That's all.  I post payments all day.

There's other departments here, too.  I couldn't begin to tell you what they all do.  The only other one I'm really familiar with is the mail room.

Now, what they do is take in all the mail, sort it by type, open it, then send it to imaging where they take pictures of it and that's when I get it.  Sound fun?  Yea.... Not really.  :P 

Now I think the only part of my job that sucks really hardcore is getting errors.  That happens when I send money to the wrong account (you send in a check and I post that money to somebody else's account) or when I type the wrong amount (you send in a check for $20 and I key it for $200) or something along those lines.  See, I'm only allowed so many of those per month or I get in trouble.  And that's not good.

Now, for any of you who are considering a career in the fine are or remittance, let me warn you... Holidays are few and far between.  In my company the only 2 days were guaranteed off per year are Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day.  But if you don't care about that... Then it's just a FABULOUS field to work in.  So get your resumes up to date and work on your ten-keying skills and apply at your local remittance company TODAY!!

Scooter Out.

Sometimes Being Yourself Has Consequences

If you're cut from a different kind of cloth then what society readily accepts as "normal", then I suppose you'll understand the title of this blog.  There are dozens of quotes I can think of that talk about being yourself and all that jazz.  But what about if being yourself isn't what people expect you to be?

Being a girl from the Deep South, I'm expected to be a lady.  To cook and clean and be a flawless hostess (the kind that has people over to her house, not the snack cake) and basically conform to the whole "pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen" role of women.  My mom is constantly on me about the way I am...

Your stereotypical Southern Belle..... NOT me.  AT ALL!!!

 The way I dress... "Why can't you wear something FEMENINE?!?!"
The way I speak... "Why do you talk like that??"
The way I carry myself... "You look like a retard standing like that."
The carrier I'm pursuing... "You'll never make any money teaching.  You need to go to nursing school."

Basically everything.  I'm not what she wanted for a daughter and it drives her nuts.  But I'm learning to move past that.  What I'm really wanting to focus on are relationships outside of your family.  Let me explain...

I'm different at work, at home, in public, and at church. 

At work my overt silliness and love of Christ are toned down a good bit so as not to offend.

At home, I'm quiet.  I keep my thoughts and opinions predominantly to myself so as to spare the fights and insults.

In public I'm silly.  Just plain silly and I really don't care who sees.  I'll just smile, wave, and keep right on running up and down the toy isle at Wal-Mart and setting off ANYTHING with a "Try Me!" sticker on it.

At church I'm not shy about how much I love God.  I wish I had that kind of courage outside those walls.  I feel more loved and accepted there than I do at home. 

Put all four of those things together, stir in a little bit of country, some Georgia clay, a love of books, and a few other little quirks that pop out every now and then and you'll have.... ME.

So many different pieces to the puzzle of my soul...

 I don't like being girly.  I'd rather be covered in mud.  I like being out in the woods.  I'd rather read than just about anything else in the world.  My mp3 player contains everything from Otep to Josh Groban.  I play air guitar and sing into my hairbrush while blaring music and running around in my undies and a t-shirt when no one else is home.  Caffeine, Mexican food, skinny dipping, and sushi are my main vices.  I'm a homebody.  I'm allergic to pretty much everything.  I have a dog.  I want a cat and a bird and fish and a bunny and horses and about 20 or 30 other animals... Even though I'm allergic to them.  I am the black sheep of my family.  And that gets me in trouble a lot.

I sometimes wonder if all that "be yourself" stuff that you're fed as a kid is conditional.  It should be edited to say "be yourself unless.......".  That way kids know when it's okay to be who they truly are instead of toning their personality dials down to nothing.  I mean, sure, there's a time and place for everything, but asking someone to completely change who they are because "company's coming" or "we're in public" seems a bit wrong to me. 

In a society where everyone seems to have come out of the copy machine, having a personality that isn't the mirror image of somebody else's is a gift, but is treated like a curse.  You're told that you're 'weird" or "not normal".  What is normal anyways?  What if I'm normal and all the clones are the weirdos??  Well in my world, that's how it is.

And if I want to put a top hat on my dog and tell people that she's from Wonderland, then deal with it!!

Scooter Out.

LOOK AT THE CUTENESS!!!!!! LOOK AT IT NOW!!!!!!

This is a Dormouse.  It is cute.  You are in love.

That is all.

Scooter Out.

Day 15

I won't beat around the bush... I love food.  I think that's pretty obvious.  :P  So I won't even lie when I tell you that I ate the thing I am grateful for today before I even thought to take a picture of it.  So here's a nice Googled picture for you!! 

This morning I was blessed with a free doughnut!  AND juice!  Lol.  It's month-end here in our office, which means that another department gets to do something special and if there are left-overs, we get them.  There are never left-overs.  But, today, there were!  So woot woot for free breakfast!  :D

Scooter Out.

Day 14

Today I was in dire need of a laugh.  I wasn't in a particularly good mood predominantly because my boss is a jerk.  Anyways, I was walking along with my own personal storm cloud hovering above my head until I passed by the bathroom and saw this:

For those of you who can't quite tell what this is, it's a door being wedged open from the top by an upside down Wet Floor sign. 

Gotta love how janitors roll! 

Oh, for the record.... The reason why this door to the ladies restroom was being wedged open was because of the smell.  It's AWFUL.  But that's another subject entirely.

Scooter Out.

Valentine's Day And Why I Hate It

Call me a bitter cynic if you want to, but I hate Valentine's Day.  I really, really do.  I don't understand how people got Cupid and hearts and love and romance out of a Christian Saint being martyred.  That does not make sense!  It makes no more sense than an 8 foot tall Wookiee living on Endor with a bunch of 2 foot tall Ewoks!!

Sorry.  Nerd moment.

I have my personal reasons as to why I hate Valentine's Day.  The top one being that I attended my grandfather's funeral on Valentine's Day.  I've also been dumped and cheated on on Valentine's Day.  But I also have other reasons. 

Top 10 Reasons why I Hate Valentine's Day:

1.  Super crowded restaurants.

If you have plans to go out to eat on Valentine's Day, you best make it at about 3 or 4 in the afternoon.  If you wait much later than that, then good luck finding a place to eat that doesn't have at least a 1 hour wait.  the nicer the restaurant, the longer the line.

2.  Stuffed animals.

Now, I like stuffed animals as much as the next girl, and sure they're cute on Valentine's Day, but what am I gonna do with them for the rest of the year?  Most of these adorable little stuffies wind up in closets, under beds, in the trash, or in a box in the attic because, like most seasonal decor, they can't be left out all year.  and unlike most seasonal decor, it's only one day, not a month or two.  I can't count how many of these little stuffed animals have become dog toys in my home because the romance failed or I just had nothing else to do with them.

3.  My mom's ridiculous need to decorate.

My mother has this insane need to decorate for each and every minuscule holiday.  She spends all day on February 13th putting them up, then all day on February 15th taking them down.  Now, if this made her happy, I'd say go for it.  But she gripes and complains about it the entire time!!  it doesn't make sense to me...

4.  Balloons.

Now I like balloons.  Balloons are fun for proms and parties and sucking helium out of so you can sound like Disney on crack.  But for gifts?  No.  Why?  They pop, deflate, float away, or become victim to annoying weenie dogs that never shut up.  Perhaps they're a metaphoric symbol for the romance you're currently entwined in that is bound to fail in some way?

5.  Overly expensive roses.

If i wanted to get a dozen roses in July, I could go to my local florist and it would be about $12.50.  If I wanted to get a dozen roses on February 13th, I could go to my local florist, and (providing they haven't sold out of roses) pay almost $45.00.  Enough said.

6.  Traffic.

Show me one person who enjoys holiday traffic.  Especially when everyone is in a race to beat the crowds to movie theatres and restaurants. 

7.  Those obscure little Valentine's Day specialty shops that seem to pop up overnight.

As if the specialty isles in EVERY store weren't enough, we now have specialty STORES that pop up overnight to further suck the money out of the pockets of unsuspecting victims.  And I can pretty much guarantee you that you can get most of the things these stores sell elsewhere for about half the price.  But does that keep them from popping up and selling out their stock the day before Valentine's and leaving last minute shoppers to pick through the remnants of the specialty isle at Wal-Mart?  No.  Not in the least.

8.  Elementary school Valentine swap.

Now, these were fun when you were in elementary school, right?  Made you feel loved and accepted my your fellow classmates.  But the dirty truth of these swaps is the fact that they were mandated.  If you didn't participate, you got in trouble.  So when you hit middle school or high school and Valentine's Day is no longer a mandated thing, you suddenly realize that not only are you not going to get any Valentine's Day cards, but that cute boy you've had a crush on for 3 years not only has a girlfriend, but also thinks you're gross.  Nice crushing blow to the ego there.

9.  PDA.

I have absolutely NO desire to see people necking in public.  But on Valentine's Day it's EVERYWHERE!!  No matter where you look you see people hanging all over each other and making out like there's no tomorrow.  It's gross.  Get a room.

10.  The feeling of obligation to all of your friends and family.

This one has no picture because it's more of a feeling than a person place or thing.  When people in your life give you something for Valentine's Day (or any holiday for that matter) you automatically feel obligated to get them something in return.  79% of people will admit that the only reason they give a gift is to get one in return.  And in my experience, people will make you feel like crap if you don't get them something. 


Some of you may be thinking that I really am a bitter cynic.  I assure you, I'm not.  I watch sappy movies and listen to love songs and I happen to be a hopeless romantic.  Bu I still hate this holiday.  When you're in a relationship, you're immediately thrown in the spotlight.  If you're not in a relationship, you're made EXTREMELY aware of that fact.  And that is quite hurtful.  So this year on V-Day I think I'm gonna settle into my sofa, put in a good movie, cuddle up to my dog, and spend this love-obsessed day with the one creature who loves me unconditionally.  Woof!  :P

Scooter Out.

Day 13

A new week has begun here at work.  I won't even pretend to be enthusiastic today, as I am quite exhausted.  But I am grateful to be alive and for a few of my co-workers.  I'm not including pictures so it's still partially anonymous.

Mama Sherry - For teaching me everyday and never getting sick of my endless questions.

Jack - For just being a true and wonderful friend to me.

Crystal - For good hugs, laughs, and silent conversations that attract funny looks.

Shelby - For a growing friendship and the start of a new payday tradition... Crafty Sundays!

I have a nice group of people to work with, but these four are the ones I'll admit to being close to, be seen with in public, and admit to loving.  These four people make my work experience better and much more fun.  So thanks, guys.  I hope you know I'm grateful for you.  :)

Scooter Out.

Day 12

Well, today is my Friday and I'm grateful for that.  I'm also quite grateful for the rain and for the fact that I'm getting off early today.  Hobby Lobby here I come!  :D

Scooter Out.

Ah, Rain...

Another rainy day here in the deep South.  We're under a tornado watch and I'm staring out the window.  Unlike the other carbon-based life forms I work with, I love the rain.  My favorite days are rainy days.  Not sure why.  I've just always found rain to be a miracle of nature.

I suppose I should be working.  I really wish my cubicle faced a window.  But then again, if it did I'd never get any work done.  I keep looking for inspiration out that window.  As if something will pass by and I'll suddenly discover the meaning of life or the desire to stand and start polka dancing.  I don't know.  I'm being silly.  But sometimes that's what you need to do to keep going.

Through all the gloom and wetness outside, I see such lovely things.  A honeysuckle vine has managed to hold on to it's flowers all through the winter and there's a Blue Jay in a small pine tree. 

I could talk all day about nature and the things I see out the window and how i treasure them so.  But I think that may bore most people to tears and I don't want that.  Then again..... My blog!!!

To me, rain is peace.  It's a new start.  All things are washed clean and it's a time to start again from scratch.  It's a time of nurturing for the plants and creatures that depend on the water that falls from the sky.  Now, if the sirens would just turn off it would be much more peaceful.  I wonder if that means I should be taking cover?  Or if it's just a severe thunderstorm warning.  Hmmm....  I think I'll go find out.

Happy Saturday!

Scooter Out.

Day 11

Well... It may be early in the day, but I already know what I'm grateful for.  Today is pay day.  But looking at my stub this morning, I was met with a very pleasant surprise.  I GOT A RAISE!!!!  Praise be to God the Father, it finally happened!!  :D

I feel like I could dance around my office and scream at the top of my lungs.  I've been praying for a raise for a while and it finally happened!  I'm so thankful to God for this unexpected blessing.

Scooter Out.

Day 10

I'm gonna revert back to not having a picture today.  I got off WAY too early to even think about taking one.  I suppose for Day 10 I'm just gonna say I'm grateful for my job as a whole.  In a world where people are living on less than $3.00 per day, I need to take the time to get on my knees and thank God for blessing me with a job that allows me to care for myself as well as my family.  I may complain a lot, but to be 100% honest with myself and my readers... I love my job.  My co-workers are nice (most of the time) and I like my hours and my job itself is easy.  Things could be much much worse.

As far as being grateful... The dictionary defines it like this:

Warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful.

To me, that doesn't quite cover it.  Dictionaries always tend to leave a lot out.  Then again, each person has a different definition for a word, especially a feeling.

To me, being grateful is to look at all the things around you and know without a shadow of a doubt that you have been blessed.  It goes beyond having things that are just your basic needs, although you should ALWAYS be grateful to have those.  It's knowing that you needed or even wanted something and you have it.

Sure, one can be grateful for their new BMW, but what about the little things?  That's what I look for.  Things like.... Seeing a Cardinal bird perched in a bush in all it's red flaming glory.  Finding a new and wonderful person to call friend.  The ability to read and the books I own.  Seeing a shooting star.  Air in your lungs and water to drink and food to eat.  The sunshine.  All the little things that people take for granted each and every day are things to be grateful for. 

Don't go happily along without noticing.  Open your eyes.  Look at the world like you did when you were a child.  Let little things amuse and delight you.  Be silly and love deeply.  And thank God for your life as it is.  You may think it sucks, but there are millions out there who would give up anything to have your life.  So just be grateful.... For everything.  Even your problems.  Without problems, we'd never learn or grow.  And what's life if you never learn?  Or grow? 

Take the time today to go outside.  Look at your surroundings... I mean REALLY look.  Take in the colors and the sounds.  Close your eyes and take in the smells.  Then take a second and thank God for that moment.  Try and do that everyday.  Then see how it changes what you're grateful for and what the word "grateful" means to you.

Scooter Out.

Day 9

for those of you who don't know, I'm quite a lover of nature.  I can find things outside that inspire me to be creative or just remind me how close God really is to us.  While outside on my break just now, I was wondering around the edge of the property near some trees ans saw this:

I love deer.  I think they're majestic and beautiful, and this one had to be huge because this print is about the size of my hand!  It was just a joy to see this and be reminded how close nature is to us.  I hate that most people don't notice little things like this and take joy in it.  I may have a child-like view of things, but isn't that more fun in the end?  The colorful world of your childhood can only fade if you let it.  Keep it alive in your heart and take joy in little things that most people go along without noticing.  That is my challenge to you, my readers.  :)

Trip Pics

So, for the past five days, I was on a trip away from home visiting my dad.  He's doing pretty good and responding to chemo well.  He has four more treatments left and then they re-evaluate to see if his cancer is completely gone or if we need to continue treatment.  He's been such a rock through all of this.  I'm amazed by him.

Anyways... I took a few pictures while I was going about my day-to-day activities on my trip, and I'd like to share them with you guys.

This was taken at the place where daddy gets his chemo.  This guy and his mom were in there with us and we all became fast friends and started talking and playing dress-up.  :) 

Once daddy was finished with his treatment, he and I went to the Guitar Center.  I saw this guitar and wanted it.  BAD.  Lol!  But I couldn't afford it, so I took a picture and settled for that. 

Daddy.  Doing what he loves most.  :)

You give a baby a box full of toy cars and what does he play with?  The box.  Oh, well.  I guess nephews are supposed to be cute that way.

Sister and nephew watching "Bubble Guppies".  Educational?  Maybe.  Still not sure about that one.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!  Now I have the remote!!!  ...Wait...What do all these buttons do???" 

I know this will probably cause a problem later, but it beats him screaming his lungs out.  The only way we could get my nephew to nap was like this.  Gotta love it.  :)

I'm sensing a pattern here.  But I can't help myself.  I love sleeping baby pics and it's my blog, so get over it, haters!  Besides.... He's cute.  ♥

Okay... I have to brag on myself some.  The little hat my nephew is wearing?  Yea.  I made that.  Done bragging now!

Friday night, me and my sister decided we wanted to cook dinner.  We put the baby to bed early, cranked up the grill and drank a few beers.  While in the middle of grilling fish, I happened to look up and see this sign.  I've known it was there for years, but it always makes me giggle.  I just wanted to share the humor with you!

Okay, guys, I swear this is the last cute nephew pic!  But we pulled his hair on top of his head and spiked it straight up.  No more than five minutes later, it had become the adorable little poof you see here. 

And last but not least.... This is Charlie.  Charlie's owners packed up and moved away and left him behind.  Then he was hit by a car.  A neighbor of my dad's found him, took him to the vet, paid for all of his treatments, shots, and to have him fixed, and spent almost a month looking for a good home for him.  I'm happy to report that Charlie has found a home with a good friend of mine.  He's happy and loved and well taken care of.  Don't you just love a happy ending?  :D

Scooter Out.