Sometimes Being Yourself Has Consequences

If you're cut from a different kind of cloth then what society readily accepts as "normal", then I suppose you'll understand the title of this blog.  There are dozens of quotes I can think of that talk about being yourself and all that jazz.  But what about if being yourself isn't what people expect you to be?

Being a girl from the Deep South, I'm expected to be a lady.  To cook and clean and be a flawless hostess (the kind that has people over to her house, not the snack cake) and basically conform to the whole "pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen" role of women.  My mom is constantly on me about the way I am...

Your stereotypical Southern Belle..... NOT me.  AT ALL!!!

 The way I dress... "Why can't you wear something FEMENINE?!?!"
The way I speak... "Why do you talk like that??"
The way I carry myself... "You look like a retard standing like that."
The carrier I'm pursuing... "You'll never make any money teaching.  You need to go to nursing school."

Basically everything.  I'm not what she wanted for a daughter and it drives her nuts.  But I'm learning to move past that.  What I'm really wanting to focus on are relationships outside of your family.  Let me explain...

I'm different at work, at home, in public, and at church. 

At work my overt silliness and love of Christ are toned down a good bit so as not to offend.

At home, I'm quiet.  I keep my thoughts and opinions predominantly to myself so as to spare the fights and insults.

In public I'm silly.  Just plain silly and I really don't care who sees.  I'll just smile, wave, and keep right on running up and down the toy isle at Wal-Mart and setting off ANYTHING with a "Try Me!" sticker on it.

At church I'm not shy about how much I love God.  I wish I had that kind of courage outside those walls.  I feel more loved and accepted there than I do at home. 

Put all four of those things together, stir in a little bit of country, some Georgia clay, a love of books, and a few other little quirks that pop out every now and then and you'll have.... ME.

So many different pieces to the puzzle of my soul...

 I don't like being girly.  I'd rather be covered in mud.  I like being out in the woods.  I'd rather read than just about anything else in the world.  My mp3 player contains everything from Otep to Josh Groban.  I play air guitar and sing into my hairbrush while blaring music and running around in my undies and a t-shirt when no one else is home.  Caffeine, Mexican food, skinny dipping, and sushi are my main vices.  I'm a homebody.  I'm allergic to pretty much everything.  I have a dog.  I want a cat and a bird and fish and a bunny and horses and about 20 or 30 other animals... Even though I'm allergic to them.  I am the black sheep of my family.  And that gets me in trouble a lot.

I sometimes wonder if all that "be yourself" stuff that you're fed as a kid is conditional.  It should be edited to say "be yourself unless.......".  That way kids know when it's okay to be who they truly are instead of toning their personality dials down to nothing.  I mean, sure, there's a time and place for everything, but asking someone to completely change who they are because "company's coming" or "we're in public" seems a bit wrong to me. 

In a society where everyone seems to have come out of the copy machine, having a personality that isn't the mirror image of somebody else's is a gift, but is treated like a curse.  You're told that you're 'weird" or "not normal".  What is normal anyways?  What if I'm normal and all the clones are the weirdos??  Well in my world, that's how it is.

And if I want to put a top hat on my dog and tell people that she's from Wonderland, then deal with it!!

Scooter Out.