Valentine's Day And Why I Hate It

Call me a bitter cynic if you want to, but I hate Valentine's Day.  I really, really do.  I don't understand how people got Cupid and hearts and love and romance out of a Christian Saint being martyred.  That does not make sense!  It makes no more sense than an 8 foot tall Wookiee living on Endor with a bunch of 2 foot tall Ewoks!!

Sorry.  Nerd moment.

I have my personal reasons as to why I hate Valentine's Day.  The top one being that I attended my grandfather's funeral on Valentine's Day.  I've also been dumped and cheated on on Valentine's Day.  But I also have other reasons. 

Top 10 Reasons why I Hate Valentine's Day:

1.  Super crowded restaurants.

If you have plans to go out to eat on Valentine's Day, you best make it at about 3 or 4 in the afternoon.  If you wait much later than that, then good luck finding a place to eat that doesn't have at least a 1 hour wait.  the nicer the restaurant, the longer the line.

2.  Stuffed animals.

Now, I like stuffed animals as much as the next girl, and sure they're cute on Valentine's Day, but what am I gonna do with them for the rest of the year?  Most of these adorable little stuffies wind up in closets, under beds, in the trash, or in a box in the attic because, like most seasonal decor, they can't be left out all year.  and unlike most seasonal decor, it's only one day, not a month or two.  I can't count how many of these little stuffed animals have become dog toys in my home because the romance failed or I just had nothing else to do with them.

3.  My mom's ridiculous need to decorate.

My mother has this insane need to decorate for each and every minuscule holiday.  She spends all day on February 13th putting them up, then all day on February 15th taking them down.  Now, if this made her happy, I'd say go for it.  But she gripes and complains about it the entire time!!  it doesn't make sense to me...

4.  Balloons.

Now I like balloons.  Balloons are fun for proms and parties and sucking helium out of so you can sound like Disney on crack.  But for gifts?  No.  Why?  They pop, deflate, float away, or become victim to annoying weenie dogs that never shut up.  Perhaps they're a metaphoric symbol for the romance you're currently entwined in that is bound to fail in some way?

5.  Overly expensive roses.

If i wanted to get a dozen roses in July, I could go to my local florist and it would be about $12.50.  If I wanted to get a dozen roses on February 13th, I could go to my local florist, and (providing they haven't sold out of roses) pay almost $45.00.  Enough said.

6.  Traffic.

Show me one person who enjoys holiday traffic.  Especially when everyone is in a race to beat the crowds to movie theatres and restaurants. 

7.  Those obscure little Valentine's Day specialty shops that seem to pop up overnight.

As if the specialty isles in EVERY store weren't enough, we now have specialty STORES that pop up overnight to further suck the money out of the pockets of unsuspecting victims.  And I can pretty much guarantee you that you can get most of the things these stores sell elsewhere for about half the price.  But does that keep them from popping up and selling out their stock the day before Valentine's and leaving last minute shoppers to pick through the remnants of the specialty isle at Wal-Mart?  No.  Not in the least.

8.  Elementary school Valentine swap.

Now, these were fun when you were in elementary school, right?  Made you feel loved and accepted my your fellow classmates.  But the dirty truth of these swaps is the fact that they were mandated.  If you didn't participate, you got in trouble.  So when you hit middle school or high school and Valentine's Day is no longer a mandated thing, you suddenly realize that not only are you not going to get any Valentine's Day cards, but that cute boy you've had a crush on for 3 years not only has a girlfriend, but also thinks you're gross.  Nice crushing blow to the ego there.

9.  PDA.

I have absolutely NO desire to see people necking in public.  But on Valentine's Day it's EVERYWHERE!!  No matter where you look you see people hanging all over each other and making out like there's no tomorrow.  It's gross.  Get a room.

10.  The feeling of obligation to all of your friends and family.

This one has no picture because it's more of a feeling than a person place or thing.  When people in your life give you something for Valentine's Day (or any holiday for that matter) you automatically feel obligated to get them something in return.  79% of people will admit that the only reason they give a gift is to get one in return.  And in my experience, people will make you feel like crap if you don't get them something. 


Some of you may be thinking that I really am a bitter cynic.  I assure you, I'm not.  I watch sappy movies and listen to love songs and I happen to be a hopeless romantic.  Bu I still hate this holiday.  When you're in a relationship, you're immediately thrown in the spotlight.  If you're not in a relationship, you're made EXTREMELY aware of that fact.  And that is quite hurtful.  So this year on V-Day I think I'm gonna settle into my sofa, put in a good movie, cuddle up to my dog, and spend this love-obsessed day with the one creature who loves me unconditionally.  Woof!  :P

Scooter Out.