Day 4: Do You Consider Yourself Addicted? Why or Why Not?
Addiction is something that runs deeply in my family. I've already blogged about that a few times. But the addictions that run in my family are drug or alcohol addictions. Nobody really had an addiction to cutting.
I would honestly have to say that, yes, I am addicted. A lot of people think that self-harmers are addicted to the pain. In my case, that is not true. After a while, the pain kinda stopped. It was the adrenaline rush. It's better than roller coasters or driving way too fast. The closest thing I can compare it to is getting a tattoo. It feels about the same as far as pain and adrenaline. The crash is... Amazing. It's the best sleep I've ever had. There were times when I would cut just so I could sleep.
I would definitely consider myself as being addicted to cutting. Even now I crave it. I want to feel the rush and the crash.
I really don't have much more to say about my addiction. It's pretty self-explanatory.
Scooter Out.
Hey, just so you know, I've been reading and following these. Due to being a lurker and also not wanting to appear like a jerkwad in some way I haven't commented yet...I hope that writing about this has been therapeutic and positive for you. I know it's definitely opened my eyes about people who struggle with self-harm. I tried it as a teen but it made me feel worse, so I never tried again. So I don't have experience with this specific issue...but I did open up about foster care earlier in the year and it super dragged me down and it was difficult to get through. I hope you're not feeling any of that but if you are just know you can talk to me whenever you need to. I'm a comment/email/phone call/skype/boy this is getting creepy/ away. You're a super strong and SUPER awesome gal and you've got all my respect. :) I'm sorry I don't know what to say beyond this. Internet hugs.
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ReplyDeleteIts been six years since this was posted and I hope you're alright know as this is one of the most idiotic challenges I've ever found.
ReplyDeleteIt's not the blood that i'm addicted to, it's the pain that comes. Sometimes, feeling pain is better than not feeling anything at all.
ReplyDeleteaddicted yes. why i ask still ask but the answer is people. smh fucking always people.
ReplyDeletebut the beauty lies withing the pain from withing the wrongfully accused ones smh.
ReplyDeleteand sigh pain is beauty when you're having really bad spazz temper anxiety stress and p.t.s.d. attacks in your room at 3 or 5 pm then again at 7 or 8 pm and every and each fucking night alone thinking wow this is my so called life wtf even is it sigh i got nothing else left i ain't shit i'm not all that and why suffer when i'm already done trying and i just want to find a way out, shit fuck there's no way out, never ever i can't fucking life i'm just wasting and fading away i'm already gone i just am here i exist i breathe smh and sleep if i even fucking sleep. but i'm out gn. I Love You.
ReplyDeletefeeling the rush the crash and then the down is SO fucking amazing it's incredible and feels fucking awesome to be alive.
ReplyDeletedo it i breathe now i can breathe. sigh I courage this.
nice outing ending to your story i really thrive and relate alot
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